well, i'm home again. today has felt like i was never away, which kind of sucks. but when i was away i felt like i'd been there for ages.

it was a very different experience, and i really hope i get to do things like this again. i got to learn so much, not only about the project, but people in my class, and even myself.
i was with people from my class who i didn't really consider friends. in fact, i was pretty concious that certain people didn't like me, and i felt like i was challenging myself going away with these people. but once i was away, i discovered i got on with everyone really well and it wasn't that hard to speak to people. i hope this is something that sticks with me, or improves, because then things would really be so much more convenient.

another thing i learnt when i was away actually kind of bothers me. in my class, not everyone is the same age, like some people are a lot older than everyone else. i'm the youngest age you can be at this point in the course. when i told everyone i was 19, the responses were "oh my god, really?" which is quite insulting, it suggests they thought i was WAY older. surely, i shouldn't be worrying about looking older at my age, but it really does bother me! imagine what it'll be like when i'm way older, at the age you're meant to worry about looking older than you are! i was told i look "in my 20's", which is pretty young anyway. at the bar in the hotel, when i was with the other girls, they all got ID'd for their drinks (2/3 being older than me by a few years), then when i got served, no request for ID. the sign next to the bar said something on the lines of "if you look under 25 we will ask you for identification". lush.

so yeah, the 2 major points i've made so far have been self-esteem boost, then self-esteem killer. that's usually the case with me, TYPICALLY.

but i've also learnt that time goes really fast. even whenever time seemed to drag when i was on set, i just thought it really can't be that bad in comparison to the coach ride to oxford and back. kind of silly, but really. time has went so fast last month i can't comprehend.

now i really have nothing much to look forward to this year. or nothing for certain. that's the good part, thinking there could be a chance something good will happen without me knowing right now. but as of now, all i have is college til christmas, which is kind of boring. awww man.
i want to go back to london or something D: