i've just been having a thinking session and i decided i need to note it down to myself. it's almost midnight, it's my last proper day at home before i go to nottingham for 3 days. it's going to be weird, i haven't done anything like this before. i never went on a school or college trip that involved having to stay away from home overnight. i've never been away without family or friends. this sounds like i'm not excited, but i am looking forward for this. i hope i can get used to doing things like this, because i'll have to sooner or later. if i want to work in the media, i'm probably going to have to.

i was just thinking about meeting seth rogen. i can imagine anyone else reading this wouldn't be surprised, but really it hasn't crossed my mind as much as i thought it would. i still can't believe i've actually spoken to him. i keep thinking, it probably isn't that much of an amazing thing, people get to speak to him every day and they don't cry and write a blog about how awesome it was. as stupid as it sounds, it's weird that he now knows i exist. and it makes me happy.
i love it when just a thought can make you happy. it's so much harder to come across than a thought that reminds you of something shit and makes you feel shit. it doesn't even need to be something that originally made you feel like shit, it could be something that once made you happy that you don't even want to think about any more. when i think of memories like that, i just question how it ever made me happy. i feel so stupid, even when i'm just thinking to myself.
i'm glad that something as simple as seth rogen can make me realise that my silly little life isn't so bad. infact, i don't think any memory can make me as happy as when i replay the moment i met tim burton to myself in my head. not only does it re-connect me with the feelings i felt at that time, but it makes me realise how lucky i am. i always thought i was an unfortunate person, simply down to things like not having a good time in high school and being ugly. i feel like i can not express enough that good things happen to people who wait. if i ever met my younger self, that's what i'd tell myself. i can't imagine how many more of those memories i'm going to happen, but it's things like that what i live for.

i haven't even acknowledged the fact it's halloween. not even during the day did it really cross my mind. not until i came across people with green hair spary in their hair. i thought it was funny, theirs is going to be washed out by tomorrow, to me green hair is the norm! i didn't do anything special today. i haven't done anything to celebrate halloween at all this year. i don't really mind, which people seem to be surprised about. i think it's a cute holiday, i wouldn't have minded doing something, but it's not really fun when you've got no one to hang out with. god, boring lifetime. it's probably more of a sign that i should grow up/find a job/wawawaa~