so it really has been over a month since my last update, oh god. i feel like i don't even have that much to share about what's happened since then, it's kind of flew by. in fact, this whole year has flew by, it's nearly at the halfway point.

seriously, what has happened? boring life forever, innit.
um, i had a job interview. it was crap, i was late for the interview, and i felt pretty patronized by it all. i didn't get the job. but since applying, i kind of found another job i want to do and i really have my hopes up for that. i know i shouldn't really care what i do to earn money, but i want to do something i'd enjoy doing and be proactive at.

tomorrow is my last day at college, i think. either tomorrow, or next week. that's how much they need me there, one day a week for 2 and a half hours. editing a clip of police officers looking for work or something. it's boring, but it takes a lot of time i suppose. and it's an actual module, which i find hard to believe.
it's weird how when i started the course editing was one of the things i most looked forward to. i do enjoy it, but it's so stressy.

um i went to berwick and seahouses with my parents like last week. it made a change from spending the day in the house during a weekday.
at seahouses i was looking for steve zissou to take me away, but obviously he's a lot cooler than that, poooooo. then in berwick we went to a coffee shop, and 2 girls at the front of the shop were wearing dresses i have, and i was buzzing about that. then frank turner came on and i was even more buzzing.

OH GOD, descendents announced leeds fest, suicide planned soon, yes.
liv has been convincing me we're going, but i really don't see it happening. i can't believe i'm missing them again. and the king blues. oh and frank turner's doing a secret set apparently. hot water music and capdown. just naming bands and wanting to die for missing them.
but at least i'm going to rebellion dddddduuuuuuuuuuuddddddeeeeeee.
and i don't have to see offspring and bring me the horizon bollocks, that day in general looks shite. apart from rise against, who i've already seen and don't really care about.

tried giving up drink this month. failed last night. 3 glasses of wine and treble vodka. really bad.
it was an alright night out at first, but by the end i think it spiralled out of control for more than one person, including me. seriously, if anyone wants to get me a drink ever again, just get me tap water (or if you're feeling generous, a diet coke!). i'm not even hungover, i don't get hungover unless i've drank a load more than that, and considering my behaviour last night it really wouldn't be pretty to see that.
i think from now on, if i want an alcoholic drink, i'm just going to have wine, and let it last. even have it mixed with lemonade or something. and i need to deserve it, i shouldn't get it just because it's there. i'm so stupid.

i also want to complain, last night i was talking about the royal tenenbaums to someone, and they thought jude law was in the film...

okay i need to go now, if i probably don't have anything else interesting to put anyway, SIGGGGGGGH POO AND STUFF

i'm awful at updating this blog. it's a great way to kill time, i don't understand why i don't do it anymore.

really haven't done anything today. i analysed the dream i had last night. it was a boring dream, i don't really want to ramble on about it, but i kind of got an accurate definition of what it meant. it was something i kind of knew, i think looking up what it meant just reassured it. i don't know why i decided to use the word 'reassured' there, but i wouldn't say it's much of a good thing, or at least not now. ~vaguebitch~
i haven't really analysed my dreams properly for a while now, not since art classes with nailah probably. i think i'm going to keep track of them more with my good old fashioned dream dictionary! my last couple of dreams connected in a way, so i can only imagine something weird is going to happen soon.

  

haha i've been on a descendents high the past month or so, i suppose this is relevant. i don't think it's a good thing that i've been playing them a lot, i'm totally gutted i'm missing them in london this month. i was going to spend my birthday money on trekking down to london by myself and seeing them, but my mam insisted i shouldn't go cause some girl got murdered by a taxi driver(?). it doesn't really make sense to me that she gave me that reason, but i just accepted it.
at least i'm still seeing frank turner this summer. it's weird, the day he announced the show, was the day i spent about 75% of the time moaning about him playing a stupid festival here when i'm going to be at rebellion fest in blackpool.  i know rebellion will be a ton more enjoyable than the one here, but just the idea of one of my favourite musicians playing in my home town when i'm not there really bugged me.
having front row tickets for his next gig totally makes up for it. bit sucky that it's seated, but thinking about it, the first time i saw him i nearly passed out, it'll be the first totally seated gig since i saw ronan keating when i was 7...
and while i'm still talking about gigs, blink-182 pushed their tour back another year cause of their album not being ready. i know everyone's been saying 'stfu' about the whole subject, but the fact they've said they've been working on an album since 2009 is kind of a piss take. at least it isn't the first time i'm seeing them, and at least i'm old enough not to get too childish about it. besides, bad religion are playing in glasgow the day i was supposed to be seeing blink here this year. seeing another favourite band would suffice. even though i know i probably won't be going to bad religion, it's kind of keeping me from not being so annoyed at blink.

erm, i produced a short film for college. i was producer for the documentary project too, so i thought this wouldn't be too difficult to do. it was way different. i was with a different crew too, so i suppose it shows the real experience of trying to adapt with other crews.
the director wanted to shoot all of the film in one day because we needed to fit it around the actors timetables. so it was a saturday, which seemed like a hassle to me at first. but i get so much time off, it's stupid. the shoot took all day. realistically a shoot for a 5 minute film takes 2-3 days, but we had to cram it all in to 10 hours.
ohhhh welllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
i enjoy being a producer, but i don't think i'm really suited to it since i find it so difficult to talk to particular people, and i hate phone calls more than life. i think the only way i'd have a producer job in the future is if i had another producer to work alongside me and do all the talking, and i can be the one who whispers all the good ideas in their ear.
it's weird thinking, when i was younger i wanted to direct films, and i didn't even take my shyness and unconfidence into consideration at all. i thought it would be so easy.
i think for now screenwriting will be the way to go, unless wes anderson knocks on my door and asks me to be an intern.

i think like a month ago, i bought the arrested development boxset with all the seasons in, i'd been intending to get it for a while, and seeing it for £30 after having £30 birthday money spare meant i had to get it.
i'm currently addicted to the programme. i think it happens to me with tv shows, i question myself why i ever considered another tv show my favourite. it's also weird thinking i've been a few centimetres away from jason bateman (centimetres is an exaggeration, but then again it isn't). i'm sad to be on the last series now knowing that it's all going to be over, but it's made me laugh so much, no doubt i'll be watching them all again pretty soon. after i've watched all the films i'm yet to watch.
oh god, i still haven't watched some dvds i got for my birthday, and since then i've bought a pile more. need to get back into a film mood. it doesn't help that i have a slight reading mood too.
OH MAN, BORED TO DEATH AS WELL. i'm glad it's on every monday and that i don't have it on dvd. it means it's timetabled into my life.

summer plans have been settled (kind of). going to paris with liv, leyla, and possibly others, not too certain on that just yet. originally we were meant to be going to london and amsterdam too, but i think this is going to be a change from last summer having to have things ready to take everywhere. plus, paris omg, dream holiday destination since i was little!

i'm pretty sure i've been typing for an hour now, and it's not even that much. going to take a break now. my next post will probably be next month HEHEHEHE FUNNY BITCH.

so it looks like i haven't been so great with the weekly blogging? haha christ, terrible. i wanted to do a birthday blog again, so here it goes.

i'm actually quite annoyed right now because i wrote down everything i got, and i lost it. not that that i got LOADS, but i don't like missing stuff out.
i suppose i'll just say my favourite bits. i got a new phone! and it's pink! it's been a bit annoying facebook app wise, but whatever, i still get the internet working fine. oh and the first thing i did was delete all of my contacts, fuckkkk. i got like 16/55 contacts back, but that's it ¬__¬

uhh i got a lot of dvds. always a good thing.
from my parents: riding in cars with boys, mystery men, thumbsucker, punch-drunk love.
from leyla: the dreamers, groundhog day, the virgin suicides.
from liv: reality bites.
with some birthday money: night at the museum 2, (500) days of summer.

everything else i got just seemed like various essentials, like shampoo, wine and clothes.
and of course a bit of money, which i bought a printer with.

as for being 19, i don't know.
honestly, i'm not happy about growing up at all. i don't like the idea of this being my final teenage year, i feel like i'm supposed to stay this way. it's bad enough i've already started to get wrinkles around my eyes.
it looks like birthdays from now on won't be a good thing for me.

i didn't tell anyone at college it was my birthday cause i felt poopie, but a lot of them said happy birthday to me, which was cutie.

and this, which made my day.

oh my god, i know i have my weekly blogging on the go well enough, this piece of information deserved it's own post.

so for a while, i've been aware hmv had been offering tickets for the 'PAUL' film premiere in london, i'd been anticipating to see that for a while now because of the cast mostly (seth rogen, simon pegg, nick frost, jason bateman). leyla has been collecting points for 2 years, and specifically earning for a film premiere good enough. we both had our hearts set on winning the tickets, to the point last night i had very little sleep. going to college i felt so nervous thinking about weather i'd get to go or not.
9am, i text leyla seeing weather she'd got the tickets. it was about half an hour til the tickets were available to get with hmv points, and leyla had been sitting refreshing the page for the whole time. she got the tickets.
she won the tickets, should i say.
i felt ill with excitement, agitated. my teacher hadn't turned up, so i basically rushed out of the foyer, and went for the bus. i walked the long way so that it didn't seem suspicious.
on the bus i got that churning feeling in my stomach, kind of like butterflies but worse. i don't know how to say it without being gross, so i'll be blunt and just say i literally vomitted with excitement.
i was dreading what my mam would say since she wasn't happy with the idea.
i got home and worked out how i would get there, and tried to plan it around my big assessment, which was supposed to be timetabled for the day after the premiere.
i impulsively went back to college with the intent to ask my teacher if i could do my assessment with the opposite group. it felt like a rom-com film, with the guy at the end going through shit just to find out one answer.
i was about to collapse after deciding to get the wrong bus to college and having to walk a longer distance than usual to get there, followed by a billion flight of stairs, then to the studio with all the lights on.
basically, my teacher let me do my assessment thing tomorrow.
i have a new script to learn, and the assessment 9am. to be honest, i'm more nervous about the 14 hours of travelling alone. at least i'll be back at london again. and i'll actually be in the film screening.



and i'm going to be in the same room as seth fucking rogen.

this week has gone by so fast, it's ridiculous. in fact, this month has flew by. it's weird though, because it feels so long ago since the year started. i don't know what the rest of the year will be like, i know i have plenty of summer plans already, let's hope it all doesn't rush by.

i'd say this week hasn't been as eventful as the others.

monday and tuesday at college were bad days. i just felt so annoyed, and i'm blaming my new teacher for it basically.
on the monday class, no one turned up apart from my group. the teacher just showed us final cut on the macs. i had never been so bored and tired. it felt like just like a high school lesson.
tuesday, don't even want to think about it. i was ignored by him, and when he finally gave me some attention, he complained that it was break time and he could be drinking coffee.
i don't know, i'm really disappointed he said that, because i was expecting him to be a teacher who i'd get along with or something. i just don't like his lessons.

i got along with my sister this week. she hasn't really been with chris much, and we enjoyed watching the indian to english translations on youtube videos. they make her literally cry with laughter.
the past few days after college i'd just been sitting talking to her really, which is something we never normally do. i guess this is going to last as long as her boyfriend is out of this house? who knows.

wednesday was a good day. did my last news broadcast thing til my assessment. i got to be director, autocue operator, vision mixer(!!), and PA - the only job i hadn't tried. i avoided it as much as possible because i hate numbers, but after being convinced, (plus i felt bad for not even giving presenter a chance, and the teacher was going to be PA if i didn't lol) i did it. it wasn't bad at all. i'm glad i ended up with that.

i had an early finish, showed my teacher my essay, which is now complete. he called me "the most proactive student" because i'm the only one who's completed the essay, and i left college feeling like a happy geek.

went home for a few hours, went back to town with liv and saw the green hornet for the second time. i love it, but i really can't see it again anytime soon. it's the only film this year that i've watched more than once. i guess it's not really my fault liv couldn't go the first time, and that there's nothing else decent at the cinema that we haven't seen. i hope there's something decent enough to see this wednesday thinking about it.

after the cinema, me and liv went to morrisons, cause a game my mam wanted was supposed to have went down in price. we searched all over the entertainment section but just couldn't see it. the cheap dvd's got me though, and i insisted that i needed to get something new to watch, which wasn't a good idea. liv wanted to get something, but as soon as i spotted pineapple express for £3, she then said she isn't allowed to buy anything... oh well. i ended up buying i love you man.

thursday was another lazy day, as normal. my mam got me to fill in a job application for iceland, and she made me walk back to work with her. i wasn't ready when she was leaving, i literally had a minute to do my hair and make-up, and she walked out whilst i was still getting ready. i only wore the eyeliner and threw my hair into a messy ponytail. she told me i couldn't hand in a form looking so scruffy, but made me go further away from home looking the mess i was. i felt an idiot.

i spent a lot of the day trying to get the wii to work, turned out there were no working batteries at all in the house, which was shit.

didn't go to town with lauren like what was planned. that was shit. however, it meant i didn't miss come fly with me, which i had the previous 2 weeks. gutter that it was the last in the series, and it was a shorter episode than normal :|

gave me time to watch how i met your mother, followed by new skins.
skins actually wasn't bad at all. everyone had bad expectations for it, but when i was watching it i didn't understand what could be wrong with it. it is a change effy not being there, maybe it's a good thing she isn't? the week is going to be so long now having to wait for the following thursday. it's always been that way when i'm following the skins series.

friday, went to livs in the afternoon. had a tub of ben and jerrys and played on fifa. i basically won the first game because i scored a goal for livs team accidently by putting it in my own goal, then scoring in the right goal. it was 1-1, but it really meant 2-0 to me.
we watched random shit on the tv til i forced her to put on skate 3, and i mastered that, slightly.
then when i got home i watched i love you man. which was cooly.

yesterday i spent it with my mam. we went to killingworth to look for that game, which we did find, but for £10 more than expected. she gave it a miss.
it's weird being by where stacy used to live, thinking i used to be there all the time, now i go on rare occasions. there's now a pub and a kfc opposite the flats, it's so crazy.

we also went to asda after that. the dvd selection wasn't as exciting as normal, i always end up picking something cheap up there, but nothing that time.
i got cake mix, custard and wine. you can guess my night.
i put on perfect catch, which leyla let me borrow, and i didn't really enjoy it. rom-com's aren't usually my thing, but it's weird that i do like watching drew barrymore. she drank wine with me simultaneously, which was amusing til the scene changed.

and today i've been hiding in my room on this computer. i have nothing to do apart from this.
i'll probably go on the wii since we have batteries now.

the night out with lauren last thursday was different to my other ones. i was with lauren and a bunch of strangers, lauren only knew one of them too, so i stood with lauren basically all the time i was there. the first bar i went to was actually decent. all the drinks were on offer and around £1. i had a couple of pints of strongbow and blackcurrent.
next place we went was a nightclub i never dreamt i would go to in my life. i wasn't excited to stay there really, but what kept me going was the goregous cocktails, and they were 2 for 1 which was a decent offer. i had loads of "sleeping beauty's" which was basically loads of apple flavoured liquors, but it was a blue colour.
people asked me to dance, but i kept insisting that i wasn't drunk enough. by the time i got home (2am omg late for me) i realised i was when i found myself considering to make a chocolate mug cake, hahaha! i just settled with toast and set my alarm to get up sharpish the next day for the green hornet!

it was a week ago yesterday (friday 14th)  since i saw the green hornet. it was a fuss getting to since all of the 2d screenings that day were sold out, and we didn't book tickets beforehand, so we had no choice to see it on 3d. it's a shame, cause i no longer enjoy paying extra to see a film and wear a second pair of glasses. but once i was in the screen, it wasn't that bad after all. i love what i've seen by michel gondry, and seth rogen is one of my favourite comedy actors, definitely one of the funniest around in this generation at least. it was also pretty exciting cause jay chou is in it, who i've been aware of since i became closer to leyla, and i knew how much she loves him.
so yeah, i loved it. it was a lot funnier than i was expecting, but then again, how could they not include a little humour when seth rogen plays the main character?
the only thing that was different to what i expected is how little cameron diaz's part is, she's on the bus adverts yet isn't even that long in comparison to seth and jay...
can't complain, i'm going to see it again with liv, which i'm excited for.

oh i should also mention, the day i saw the green hornet, i bought 5 different drinks, 3 which were consumed during the green hornet. silly, i was still drunk or something, and definitely still hyper.
first drinks were chocolate milkshake, and boot's shapers festive punch. next drink was mountain dew imported from the philippines, which i bought from the asian shop 7 days.
after i'd been to the cinema, me and leyla went to the metro centre/ikea/asda gateshead, and i bought the ikea apple drink, and another milkshake, this time strawberry.
i think the only other thing i bought that wasn't a drink was a photo frame for my tim burton autograph. that's now on my bedside drawers under my lamp.

then at the end of that day i ordered some digital photos. i figured i should add some to my photo albums, i got 2 for my birthday last year, and i've barely filled one. i like having prints of photos, it's not the same being tagged on a photo on facebook. you don't get the same feeling looking at one of those photos as you do when you're browsing an album of old photos.
well i ended up getting the most awkward sized set of prints, half an inch to big to fit in any spare photo album or photo frame. it sucked, and i only cut up one of my photos to fit my empty 18th birthday frame which looked pretty lonely. i put inside a photo of me and liv in germany sitting by this posh fountain, it was the only decent serious photo of me i'd say.

i changed my blue streak in my hair to green. i should've done it in time for the green hornet, but i guess no one would really notice haha.

i think my week has revolved most around my massivee essay. when i left tynemet i was thinking i escaped it all, but it turns out i haven't. not that it's as bad as photography and art essays, i enjoy writing about films, clearly. i spent all sunday doing an essay about scott pilgrim. then i started it again the next day and worked out i spent sunday doing it all wrong. i did write some good stuff, but it didn't have the right flow.
took me a while to sort it out, but i'm finished it now, 2 weeks early, 300+ words over the limit. at least i have time to correct it with my tutor.

hmm, monday wasn't that special. i just sorted out the final things for my college group work, which we ended up finishing early. was supposed to go tattoo shop browsing with leyla, but decided to put it back til tuesday.

then on tuesday, when i only needed to be in college for 2 hours, i filmed the last part of the project with my group, then got to finish a little earlier than expecting, then met leyla for a day in town. we went to see blue valentine, which i kind of had no idea what it was about, but came out actually really liking it. it was definitely my sort of thing.
was amused by the old woman next to us falling asleep too, LOL.

wednesday went by fast. was a bit boring not going to the cinema that day, but i didn't mind knowing i had tickets booked for the weekend. i showed my teacher my essay, then got to go home from college early.
oh god, embarrassing when i asked to book a computer in the disabled student section of the library, no one told me it was for disabled people.

thursday, went to the pub not far from home with liv and leyla for the last time before she went back to oxford. was a nice quiet night actually. gave me and liv a couple of dvds to borrow for 2 months, and she gave me party monster to keep. i need to work out which one to give her in exchange, she paid quite a lot for the dvd D:
we all put a song on the jukebox, mine being weezer, leylas being die antwood, and livs being take that.
good time.

then yesterday i was tidying up LOADS and completing my essay. i sorted through my clothes, it's so hard to part with some things, i wish it wasn't so difficult. i'd much rather have loads of new clothes that i know i'd definitely wear rather than keeping clothes and insisting i'll wear them one day.

and today, i went to see black swan with liv. it was beautiful, i wasn't as excited for it as i was for the green hornet. but it was perfect. got a couple of frights off it, but nothing too scary. something i loved in particular was the cinematography, it just worked so well, especially how there were so many mirrors used through the story, it must be so difficult to have the continuity for that.

also bought a new skirt, which i needed. i need some more of these. well that was my week in a nutshell.

last week updates!

last week was my first week back at college. i was so tired. on the tuesday, which is usually a 2 hour long class, we didn't actually get anything taught to us. my teacher was ill. he said i looked ill too, which was weird.

funnily enough, the next day i felt like shit. i messed up my job as camera operator, which is the easiest tv studio job. my new teacher and the technician-y teacher told me to go, then my other teacher phoned and told me to go. 

i completed the scott pilgrim serires! i've never enjoyed reading something so much, i'm glad i stuck to it. i'm pretty sad it's all over, it's one of my favourite stories basically. i'll probably end up reading them all again sometime in the year. 

i've spent so much money online, oh god. i've bought

• £3 pair of jeans, 
• underwear
• a comic book called 'i never liked you' (completed it the day i received it), 
• a misfits bag, 
• a comic book called 'street angel'
• see no evil, hear no evil (dvd)
• bottle rocket (dvd)
• my date with drew (dvd)
• rocket science (dvd)
• never been kissed (dvd)
• an asos dress

i'm just considering those the things i bought with my christmas money (cause i spent that on alcohol rather than taking money out of my bank)

then on the weekend i went to see the kings speech with leyla, cause she won free tickets. my first cinema film of the year. i thought it would be nothing like i usually watch, but it was a lot more funnier than it's made out to be.

then this past week has been pretty hectic, for a lazy person like me at least.

monday wasn't so bad, my timetable has changed so i have a monday afternoon class rather than morning.

met my new teacher properly. he isn't that bad, just i think he doesn't really understand, as much as he thinks he does. he's not really from a tv background anyway, so i wouldn't blame him for not understanding.

he let us go early, but my group sorted out things for filming the next day, which made up for the free time we were given. to put it simply, we finished on the timetabled time.

tuesday, early start which i didn't want to do. we watched four lions, which i love. didn't laugh as much as i did when i saw it last year, but i still enjoyed it.

then went to do recording at the coast. it was freezing, but at least there wasn't snow.

wednesday was the most tired i'd been ever. was nervous, felt a bit ill, thought it might've just been a wednesday thing. i had to direct the news, which was the scary at first, but it actually wasn't that bad after less than a minute in. i also got to vision mix again, which is my favourite job out of the lot. and i finally got to be VT, which is the one i always wanted to try. was worse than i thought, the machine is really hard to work.

then i had a nice lunch break with lauren. i had hot food for a change, and it was perfect for the cold weather. looks like i'll be doing the same next week.

last lesson was about contraversal cinema, which is basically what i learnt last year. got to finish half an hour earlier than i expected, which tehnically is an hour and a half earlier than i was supposed to.
walked into louise on the way to meet leyla, which was random.
me and leyla went to see 127 hours. i felt all along i was going to see the green hornet aha. but i wasn't disappointed at all at 127 hours. it was perfect, apart from james franco breaking his arm, then chopping it off. i just couldn't watch. i wish i did look, but then again, i'm glad i didn't have it on my mind before i slept...

today i was supposed to be going into college, and it got cancelled! i was so happy to sleep. i slept til 11.
been getting ready today basically. i'm going to town later tonight, going to be different to most nights out, cause i'm going with lauren, and i haven't heard of 3/4 of the places we've planned to go to.

then tomorrow, i'm seeing the first screening of the green hornet. exciting!