oh god, if i were doing the daily blogging, yesterdays would've been pretty interesting. i'm so glad it was only the first half of the day that was bad.

the day before i ended it pretty sadly which was what i tried to avoid the most. but that night i had a dream that kind of lifted my mood for the morning and made me more determined to start my day better.

oh and my dream was i met richard elfman (the director of forbidden zone, and the older brother of danny elfman), and we were at my grandmas house with my dad. i remember saying to him "i was so gutted i missed out on meeting your brother at the alice in wonderland premiere, he's an amazing man!" and he replied with something like "yeah loads of people prefer my brother over me, but at least you're friends with me now"..
it sounded better in my dream, okay!

so i was walking to the bus stop listening to oingo boingo happily. my bus arrived on time, and i queued up. i open my purse to find i forgot my bus fare, had barely enough for even a single ticket. so i checked my phone to see 3 missed calls of my mam, i phoned her back but my phone died on her. i basically rushed home foaming, all the school kids were walking in the other direction, i felt like i was swimming in the opposite way of the current.
once i got to the backlane i saw my mam get in the car, i literally ran over out of breath.
she gave me a lift to catch up with the bus. we caught up with it at chillingham road in byker, and i would have been able to get on it if it wasn't for the fucking slow taxi in front of us. seriously, every other time there's a taxi on the road it's going way past the speed limit. i thought it was typical. a horrible joke.
i eventually got dropped off in central newcastle with 20 minutes to get to college. a lift in the car would've took 3 minutes or less, but my mam was going to be late for work, even though her work friend said not to worry about being late.
i was pushing it. at 08.57 exactly i was at central station, quite a walk away from college but still pretty close. i saw my bus, and decided it would take about 3 minutes to get there on time. no it fucking well didn't. the bus was packed with business people. i don't even recall what time i got into college, but i felt like i was going to collapse. i rushed to the tv studio, then slowly went into the room. i was terrified. my teacher is pretty scary and all i could imagine was him screaming at me.
i walked in, and was given an evil glare almost. i was bright red and that wasn't cause i was embarrassed. i felt my face covered in sweat. there were no seats so i stood at the back, i felt like i was punished. another couple of students came in late, they were both boys, i felt as if my teacher looked at them more angrier than he did at me. after the last late person came in, my teacher was like "oh by the way, there's seats over here!" happily as if we chose to stand.
i could barely concentrate, i felt like shit. i was planning in my head my apology to my teacher for the hour. i walked by him, and he smiled at me really big, i hesitated and made it look like i wasn't even supposed to talk to him at all. i heard him ask why the others were late, but he didn't seem to be bothered about me.
still, horrible morning.

at lunchtime i finally met lauren for lunch. the whole time i've been at college, we've arranged meeting up for lunch, but we've never actually gone a head with it, or been able to. i went in her campus/building thing, which couldn't even compare to mine. totally different. i had my lunch in her classroom, which was an 'eat healthy' bar. the last time i had lunch at college that basically filled me up.
it was awkward being in her class though, there were other people from her class in there, and it was pretty obvious they were thinking "who the fuck is that"
but it was nice being able to spend time with lauren, it made me a bit more confident about being in college knowing that my oldest friend isn't very far away if i need her.

i left early cause i had no idea which classroom i was in. when i got to my building i sat with julie, paddy and ben. i wouldn't say they're my friends yet, but i've hung around them the most out of anyone in the class. i don't even know if i'm really ~~~one of them~~~ cause they're basically the smokers. but whatever. i think approaching them was pretty confident of me, i hadn't done anything particularly confident that day that i was happy with doing.
the next lesson we had was contextual study, but the teacher of the class likes to call it 'film club'.
to put it short, it's basically film coursework. brilliant. i think it's going to be my favourite lesson! the lesson was spent discussing film, and a few tv shows. what bothered me was someone said their favourite film was american history x. if you don't remember, that is the film that bothered me during A2 film studies, and i hated it. my teacher said "ahh i have so many opinions on that film, i think i'll screen it to the class cause i want you all to discuss it with me!"
ugh. i mean, the last time i watched it i didn't have a problem cause i skipped out the scene where they break into the koren supermarket, and the rape scene. i think i'll just have to cover my ears and close my eyes during that if it actually happens.
basically we have to do an essay on a film, and i worked out exactly what i want to do mine on. edward scissorhands/frankenstein/the elephant man.

after college i met up with alice and liv to go to the cinema. we were going to see the runaways, but when we got there we discovered they weren't screening it. we ended up seeing 'cyrus' which i wanted to see ever since i saw the trailer.
from the trailer i got the impression it was one of those hilarious comedy films, but despite finding out it wasn't like that, i still really enjoyed it. it reminded me slightly of greenburg that i saw a couple of months ago. it seemed like it had drama influences mixed in too, the characters are all struggling to have that perfect relationship. i also appreciate that the film had no script, just an outline to work from.
but what bugged me during the film was the hand-held cameras. yeah, it did make the film seem more personalised, but the way it was shaky just bothered me at some points. overall, it was a pretty impressive film.

i can't be bothered to rant on about yesterday anymore. apart from my mam made me eat curry yesterday. ppppoooooooooppppppppppooooooo.
i couldn't sleep cause i had itchy legs.

today in a summary, i played guitar hero for the first time in forever.
i've seen quite a few of the bands on there since i last went on, it's so weird thinking of it that way. i'd say there's even bands on there that i love more than i did when i first got guitar hero.
oh and i didn't know weezer were on it. i played their song and sucked at it. it's because that's the song i usually skip.
i think i'm going to play on it again any minute. i'm excited for that shit, maaaan.

and dear lord, bad religion are my main source of inspiration right now. i feel like i love them more everyday. i can't wait til i have the chance to see them again, i just want to meet them and talk to them. let this happen.